Christ's Focus

Right now I am going through a Beth Moore bible study called “Breaking Free.” Today I was asked the question, “What was Christ’s ultimate purpose in His earthly life?” The options were,

A. To receive the punishment for sin

B. To bind up the brokenhearted

C. To do the will of His Father

D. To set the captives free

E. To save the lost

F. To show Gods love

Of course I knew He came to do all of those amazing things, but I knew the answer was ultimately C. Then, I started thinking about my own life. If Christ came to be the perfect example for us, then that needs to be the ultimate purpose of my life! So if Christ’s ultimate purpose is to do the will of His Father, I want it to be mine, too! Here’s my point: Sometimes I get so caught up with what I am supposed to “do” and forget about the “why.” I want to farm, inspire others with music, I want to do ministry, take care of my body, help others take care of theirs, give to the poor, help the oppressed, be married one day and be a mom, love my family, etc.) All my wants and desires. But, if I constantly focus on what I am supposed to "do" and forget about the "why", (to do the will of my Father) it’s exhausting!! Yes, Christ came to receive the punishment for sin, bind up the brokenhearted, set the captives free, save the lost, to show God's love, but His focus was on one thing alone, doing God’s will. (Matthew 26:42, John 4:34, John 6:38) He allowed God to have complete authority over His life. Christ wanted to obey and DO all those things because He knew His LORD Loved Him. This was Freedom, and the freedom He offers to me as well. I want that. RETURN. REST. QUIET. CONFIDENT. Isaiah 30 

Rotten Tomatoes and Walls

You see this? About two weeks ago, my friend and I started noticing these little pimple like dots on our tomato plants. When we looked up why this was happening, we found out it was because of stress in the root system. We planted these tomatoes in a raised bed, which means they're in a box full of dirt above the ground. Little did we know, there's gravel all underneath the garden bed which is causing drainage problems, hence the root stress that's not allowing the roots to dig deep into the soil. For months we've been watering, fertilizing, weeding, and pruning, unaware of our issue, but now that it's time for the fruit to come the problems are obvious. The fruit is now rotting at the bottom due to the lack of calcium being absorbed because of root damage. The roots are stuck and can't fully absorb the nutrients needed to thrive. I couldn't help but apply this to my own life. WALLS. We can water, feed, weed and prune our lives all day long, but if we refuse to let Jesus break down the walls inside, our roots will never be able to run deep enough to produce the good God intended for us to bear. We will get to a certain maturity level, and then stop growing or rot because there are walls that haven't been broken down. Do you have a wall you haven't let Jesus break down? Unforgiveness, jealousy, bitterness? If so, it's stopping you from experiencing the fullness of joy Jesus wants us to have in this life. 
Jesus, break down my walls!! I don't want my life to look like this tomato, all rotten and stressed.
Unfortunately, it's too late to save my little tomatoes. As long as there's a wall, my plants will always die. Only if I remove the stones and gravel they will thrive. #lessonsfromthegarden

Turkey, Guns, & A Big Ole' Train

For the past few days I've been spending the thanksgiving holidays with a much beloved family, the Finkenaurs, in LaGrange, TN. With my tummy full of turkey from the day before, I woke up ready for the expected adventure I'd been hearing about for months! Today was the day I would get to shoot guns of all sizes at "Mr. Phil's" place. It sure was a lot of fun! I got to shoot a pistol for the first time and it was AWESOME. And while shooting guns was a lot of fun, it was actually the ride there that REALLY impacted me today. So, Mr. Phil lives "way back yonder in the woods." (Ya know what I mean?) You have to cross some railroad tracks and everything! We got stopped by the train and had to wait until it passed. Boom! Then it hit me...a God moment. As I sat in the back seat of the car, uncharacteristically of myself not saying anything, I watched this HUGE train roll by. We were soooo close to it! It was so loud, and I felt afraid! If anything were to fall off that train, we'd be crushed like pancakes. I felt very much not in control. Nothing could stop that power engine. It was so big and I was so small. Then I thought about the fear of God. I wondered to myself, "Do I fear God as much as I'm fearing this train right now? Do I remind myself of how HUGE my God is and how nothing can stop His good and perfect will? Do I stand in awe of how powerful He is?" It was a good reminder for me to not look at God as someone small, but as something much, much bigger than myself AND that freight train.

Wasp on my Window

Wasp on my window

Somehow it detects

Danger in its future

Human versus insect

I reach to turn the wipers on

And off it flies away

Saving its tiny insect life

And lives another day

It sensed danger before it occurred 

What wisdom that wasp had

To get up and fly away

Before it lived its last

Run, run, flee, flee

The lesson I learned today

When danger comes a-knockin' 

Run the other way

Run the other way

Proverbs 27:12

The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it.  

Proverbs 4:14-15 

Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not walk in the way of the evil.

Avoid it; do not go on it; turn away from it and pass on. 

Marbles — Being Refined

Marbles are a wonder to me, as they glisten in my hand
To think they started out, as wet and dirty sand!

Look at how the sparkle, look at how they shine!
Yet, none of it possible, without being refined.

They started out as dust, some would call it nothing
But in the fire they went, and became shiny somethings!

Held together and so beautiful, and even useful, too!
From sand and "nothing"
To glass then "somethings"

Yes, marbles are a wonder to me!

Check out how marbles are made on Youtube! So cool!

Lord, I Need You Poem

I can't get any lower
My face is on the ground
I'm bowing at your feet
Lord, I need you now

My body is filled with weakness
My heart is open wide
Lord, I need your Spirit
To direct my life

My steps are so unsteady
I want them to be firm
When I start to wonder
God, help me not to turn

I'm aching for some answers
When you've already told me so
To walk by you forever
By your side, there, I will grow

Why's it feel confusing though?
Why do I get stuck?
Take this pattern out of my life
Pull me out of this muck

I know there's more about you
That my eyes have yet to see
Show me all you are
God, reveal your glory

Let that be my hiding place
Let you be my home
My flesh hungers and thirst sometimes
But with you I'm not alone

Let that be my hiding place
Let you be my home
In your presence forever, Lord
Cause with you I'm not alone

With you I'm not alone.

Confident and Humble — How Can I Be Both at the Same Time?

A few nights ago I sat at a coffee shop with my little, black journal in front of me. I picked up my pen and began writing in all caps the word CONFIDENCE. I stared at it, and it stared at me. I asked God to show me the reasons why I should be confident.

He told me this:

• Jesus lives in me. Romans 8:10-11 
• God is my God. Psalm 63:1-3 
• God is for me. Romans 8:31
• God hears my prayers. Prov. 15:29
• The King is my Father. Matt 5:14-16

Then I turned the page in my journal, and I wrote the word HUMILITY in all caps. I stared at it, and it stared at me. Again, I asked God to show me why I should be humble and how.

He told me this: 

• I don't deserve anything. (God gave me everything) Romans 6:23
• I am not the best. (People are better than me) Romans 12:3-5
• I have a lot to learn. (People and God can teach me) Hebrews 10:14
• I got to where I am because people helped me. Romans 12:3-5
• Jesus was King and washed people's feet. John 13:12
• Jesus created the world and He was humble. Gen. 1:1

Saul in the Old Testament stood a head taller than anyone else in Israel yet lacked confidence and humility, too. And when it came time for him to be named king this was Saul's response: He said, "But am I not a Benjamin, form the smallest tribe of Israel, and is not my clan the least of all the clans of the tribe of Benjamin?"

Eight months ago I read a Beth Moore devotional talking about Saul and his lack of confidence. Moore said, "How do we distinguish between godly humility and low self-esteem? Which did Saul display?" She said, "One key lies in our focus. A person with godly humility looks to the Master. He or she neither exalts nor denigrates self, because to do either is to make self the center of our universe. When we're really serving Christ, our reputations and abilities simply cease to be so important. We must decrease that He may increase." She goes on saying, "Saul exhibited the core sin of all self-centered people: he focused on himself. We need to recognize that a lack of confidence does not equal humility. In fact genuinely humble people have enormous confidence because it rests in a great God." 

When I read that in January, that was the beginning of my journey of finding out how to be confident and humble.

A year ago, I had neither of those things. My confidence was based on what people thought of me. I wasn't a humble person either. I lacked a lot self-esteem. Being in this position as a Christian feels paralyzing, because nothing is concrete. My emotions and thoughts about myself changed every day. 

It seemed impossible in the beginning of the year to have the ability to be confident and humble, but each day I wake up and every step I take with our BIG, BIG God I'm learning it is possible. Because of Matthew 9:26.