Wasp on my Window

Wasp on my window

Somehow it detects

Danger in its future

Human versus insect

I reach to turn the wipers on

And off it flies away

Saving its tiny insect life

And lives another day

It sensed danger before it occurred 

What wisdom that wasp had

To get up and fly away

Before it lived its last

Run, run, flee, flee

The lesson I learned today

When danger comes a-knockin' 

Run the other way

Run the other way

Proverbs 27:12

The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it.  

Proverbs 4:14-15 

Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not walk in the way of the evil.

Avoid it; do not go on it; turn away from it and pass on. 

Marbles — Being Refined

Marbles are a wonder to me, as they glisten in my hand
To think they started out, as wet and dirty sand!

Look at how the sparkle, look at how they shine!
Yet, none of it possible, without being refined.

They started out as dust, some would call it nothing
But in the fire they went, and became shiny somethings!

Held together and so beautiful, and even useful, too!
From sand and "nothing"
To glass then "somethings"

Yes, marbles are a wonder to me!

Check out how marbles are made on Youtube! So cool!

Lord, I Need You Poem

I can't get any lower
My face is on the ground
I'm bowing at your feet
Lord, I need you now

My body is filled with weakness
My heart is open wide
Lord, I need your Spirit
To direct my life

My steps are so unsteady
I want them to be firm
When I start to wonder
God, help me not to turn

I'm aching for some answers
When you've already told me so
To walk by you forever
By your side, there, I will grow

Why's it feel confusing though?
Why do I get stuck?
Take this pattern out of my life
Pull me out of this muck

I know there's more about you
That my eyes have yet to see
Show me all you are
God, reveal your glory

Let that be my hiding place
Let you be my home
My flesh hungers and thirst sometimes
But with you I'm not alone

Let that be my hiding place
Let you be my home
In your presence forever, Lord
Cause with you I'm not alone

With you I'm not alone.

Confident and Humble — How Can I Be Both at the Same Time?

A few nights ago I sat at a coffee shop with my little, black journal in front of me. I picked up my pen and began writing in all caps the word CONFIDENCE. I stared at it, and it stared at me. I asked God to show me the reasons why I should be confident.

He told me this:

• Jesus lives in me. Romans 8:10-11 
• God is my God. Psalm 63:1-3 
• God is for me. Romans 8:31
• God hears my prayers. Prov. 15:29
• The King is my Father. Matt 5:14-16

Then I turned the page in my journal, and I wrote the word HUMILITY in all caps. I stared at it, and it stared at me. Again, I asked God to show me why I should be humble and how.

He told me this: 

• I don't deserve anything. (God gave me everything) Romans 6:23
• I am not the best. (People are better than me) Romans 12:3-5
• I have a lot to learn. (People and God can teach me) Hebrews 10:14
• I got to where I am because people helped me. Romans 12:3-5
• Jesus was King and washed people's feet. John 13:12
• Jesus created the world and He was humble. Gen. 1:1

Saul in the Old Testament stood a head taller than anyone else in Israel yet lacked confidence and humility, too. And when it came time for him to be named king this was Saul's response: He said, "But am I not a Benjamin, form the smallest tribe of Israel, and is not my clan the least of all the clans of the tribe of Benjamin?"

Eight months ago I read a Beth Moore devotional talking about Saul and his lack of confidence. Moore said, "How do we distinguish between godly humility and low self-esteem? Which did Saul display?" She said, "One key lies in our focus. A person with godly humility looks to the Master. He or she neither exalts nor denigrates self, because to do either is to make self the center of our universe. When we're really serving Christ, our reputations and abilities simply cease to be so important. We must decrease that He may increase." She goes on saying, "Saul exhibited the core sin of all self-centered people: he focused on himself. We need to recognize that a lack of confidence does not equal humility. In fact genuinely humble people have enormous confidence because it rests in a great God." 

When I read that in January, that was the beginning of my journey of finding out how to be confident and humble.

A year ago, I had neither of those things. My confidence was based on what people thought of me. I wasn't a humble person either. I lacked a lot self-esteem. Being in this position as a Christian feels paralyzing, because nothing is concrete. My emotions and thoughts about myself changed every day. 

It seemed impossible in the beginning of the year to have the ability to be confident and humble, but each day I wake up and every step I take with our BIG, BIG God I'm learning it is possible. Because of Matthew 9:26. 

It's Not About Work, It's About The People

"It's not about the work, it's about the people." Two days before I left for Farm Bureau Convention in New Orleans, that's what God told me my focus needed to be.
For the past two and a half years, I've been so concerned about the work, doing an excellent job to earn a position at Farm Bureau. But God obviously doesn't want me to focus on money, status or what people think of me. He wants me to focus on Him, bringing glory to His name, and being love to my co-workers. So this week I want to keep reminding myself of those words He told me to focus on, "It's not about the work, it's about the people."

God, help this be my focus this week here in New Orleans during convention. Amen!

His Voice

Yesterday, I was sitting in my car at a park reading a book. A young black boy ran past my car, and it made me jump. It was odd because kids run past my car all the time when I'm there and it doesn't scare me. So I decided to watch him and his three brothers play on the playground. He had a toy gun in his hand pretending to shoot it...sideways. It made my heart sad because I knew he had to learn that from somewhere. I looked around to find his parents and spotted his mom sitting on a bench far away. I decided to try to ignore it all and keep reading my book. As I was reading, God told me, "Go talk to them and share the Gospel with them." I was like, "No, God. That's crazy. That can't be from you." I kept reading. Thirty minutes later I looked up and they were still playing. The urge got even stronger. God said, "Go share the gospel with them and give them $5 to split. I couldn't ignore it any longer so I got out my car and said, "God, this is crazy" and walked up to them. When I walked up I just said, "Hi, what's y'alls names?" One little boy mumbled something while the rest of his brothers scurried away towards their momma. The only little boy who responded ran away within seconds of me walking up, too. So I sat down on the nearest bench relieved that I had at least tried to do what God was telling me to do. I was sitting there for probably five minutes or so, asking God what that was all about, and something inside of me just knew God wasn't done with me yet. God told me, "Go share the gospel with the momma." I was like, God! No! I'm so scared." He was like, "Yes, you will!!" Plus he told me to give her $25. So I started walking, scared to death, towards the mother. God gave me instruction to #1. Share the gospel and #2. Give her $25. While God was speaking to me, I kept thinking about Brian and Katherine Miller who are missionaries for Global Transformation Ministries in Columbia. I listened to them talk two days before this happened. I kept thinking that if the Lord protects and equips them to boldly proclaim the gospel everyday to lost people in Columbia, he will surely do the same for me here in Baton Rouge where He has called me to live. So I prayed for God to give me peace and strength to accomplish what He wanted me to do. I slowly made my way over to the bench, praying so hard, where the mom was sitting. I sat down and said hello. Asked her about her boys. She told me their names, but I can't remember them. Her name was Carla. I told her I was sitting in my car and God told me to ask her if she knew who Jesus was. She said she did. Her voice and eyes were so gentle. A lot more gentle than I imagined. I told her that God wanted me to tell her that He loves her so much and Jesus died for all her sins on the cross. All she said was, "You gotta listen to that voice when he's speaking." I agreed. I noticed she was writing something down on this little notebook she had. So I asked her what she was working on. She told me she was selling plates in the upcoming weekend --- plate lunches to help raise money. I asked her what the cause was. She said that she was out of work for two months, because she taught at a school, and was almost out of money. It all made sense why God told me to give her that $25. So I pulled out the money in my pocket and gave it to her. I said, God told me to give this to you. She took it and told me thank you, from the bottom of her heart. We talked a few more minutes about how awesome God was. Her boys also were sitting at the table, so they saw it all happen. I walked back to my car amazed, got in my car, sat there for a few seconds, cried and then drove off. Then, two hours later, I had to go to Guitar Center to pick up a guitar tuner. And guess who I ran into? The Millers from Columbia!! I was able to share with them how their testimony of sharing the gospel in Columbia encouraged me to not be afraid to share the gospel with Carla. All that said, I'm just really thankful for God's voice. He's teaching me more and more everyday to listen and obey His voice. He's also teaching me what His voice sounds like. I'm a sheep in need of the perfect shepherd's voice. Lord, I pray for Carla that you would provide for her and show her and her boys your love. Give her grace, Lord for the times she's wronged you and help her teach her boys about you. Lord, send people in her life to help her and love her through this difficult time. In your perfect Son's name, Amen! 

Slowly Fading

What did the American flag stand for when it was first sewn together? What did the red, white, and blue colors mean when they first united? What did the stars and stripes signify when it was flown for the first time in battle? Didn’t the flag stand for freedom? Didn’t it mean liberty and justice? And didn’t it signify one nation under God?

Today my heart ached and got angry every time I saw an American flag flying in the sky. I couldn’t help but think our country’s colors are slowly fading.

Today my heart ached most of all because of the nine people who were shot and killed at their church in Charleston, South Carolina. When I looked up at each flag I passed today I felt sadness because if that flag represents what this country stands for today, I’m not proud of it anymore.

Those colors red, white and blue mean something different than when they first came together to represent our country. Those stars and stripes don’t mean freedom anymore, or liberty, justice and a nation that serves God. I look at the flag, and I feel ashamed to live in a country that brags about freedom but the people in it are not really free at all.

We are enslaved. We are enslaved to racism and hatred. And as long as we keep worshiping other gods and not turning to the one true God, who gives us every breath, this country will remain enslaved.

If we were a nation serving God, the Word of God would be preached every time a tragedy like this occurs. We as a nation would come together and fall on our knees to ask God for direction and help. We are a nation that needs to fear God.

"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."

We are divided and we are falling. Our country’s colors are fading because we are a nation that refuses to bow down to the One who created the heavens and earth.

Proverbs 10:12 Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs.

2 Chronicles 7:14 if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

Life Just Happens

Growing up, I used to see grown ups so differently than I see them today. Maybe it's because I'm actually classified as one now. Grown ups seemed to have it all together back in the day. They were married and made choices. They had big homes and a bunch of kids who they "knew" how to discipline and take care of. Oh, how I'm learning now that's not the case at all.

What is a grown up anyway? Is it a person who stops growing in height? If that were the case, I would have been a grown up since the 6th grade! Does a grown up mean we're done learning all there is to know to make it through the rest of life? Surely not. Definitely not! Can. not. be.

I'm reading a book called "Breaking Free" by Beth Moore. Highly recommend!! It has me doing an exercise that goes through my entire family tree and listing how each person has positively and negatively affected me. While I was doing that exercise I realized, more than ever before, how my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were no different from me. When I was younger I saw them as so old and ready to face whatever life threw at them, but they grew up with baggage and good stuff, too, just like me, that shaped them into who they are and were.

I'm learning that life just happens. It's made up of a series of choices we make everyday, some big choices and some small ones. Those choices make us into who we are for the rest of our lives.

Life just happens. Are we ever really ready to get married? Or have children? Or own/build a home and business?  I mean financially it's important to be ready, but mentally and spiritually --- are we ever really ready? Are we ever ready to suffer through deaths, go through family feuds, or lose things that mean so much to us? Are we? Or does it just happen?

What I'm learning is how important it is to identify the baggage in our families and in my life to live a "free" and happy life. I'm not scared to admit my life growing up wasn't perfect. There were really great times and really bad times, too. I'm learning it's important to heal from that bad stuff now so my choices in life aren't made because of the bad stuff.

Life. Just. Happens. It's happening right now. To the two, four and six year olds I spend time with everyday, they see me as a grown up who works, who knows how to pour milk into their cereal bowl without spilling it, use a sharp knife, fix them a PB&J sandwich, drive a car and buy cool stuff. To them, my life seems so "grown up." But if I could communicate to them, "I still feel young, like you! I don't feel ready." But life is happening as I type this next word. Thank goodness the good Lord is showing me all of this stuff.

I have to choose to be ready. I have to make choices based on what Christ has done for me , which is setting me free from my sin and the baggage I experienced as a child.

Life really does happen in a blink. I can choose now whether I want that blink to be full of freedom and joy or a life full of negative memories of baggage built up through the years. That choice will even effect my lineage to come.

I want to choose freedom. Lord, I ask of you to help me get there.

Isaiah 61:1-4 (ESV)
The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion— to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified. They shall build up the ancient ruins; they shall raise up the former devastations; they shall repair the ruined cities, the devastations of many generations.

Finding My Focus

Being a journalism student we were always taught "find your focus" when writing stories. All well written stories can and should be summed up in three words. For example, when writing a story about a dog that was rescued by a firefighter -- the focus would be -- firefighter rescues dog. Boom-bang. Three words. Short. Simple. To the point.

Lately, when my mind begins to spin in circles in the bustle of this world, I've been thinking about that simple but wonderful lesson. I've started applying that lesson to my walk with the Lord. It's so easy for me to lose focus of what God has called me to do. Life is so crazy! So crazy. So crazy. From maintaining relationships, to trying to make people happy, to making sure I'm doing everything right, to trying to figure out what's next in life, to balancing a job, to doing well in your job, to answering questions confidently, to finding out who I am. Ahhh! This voice inside my head yells, "STOP, TAYLOR. FIND YOUR FOCUS! WHAT'S YOUR FOCUS?" The voice keeps saying, "Rest, Taylor. My grace is enough."

My focus in life should be easy. My focus in life is simpler than the focus when writing a story -- maybe that's because my story's already been written for me by The Perfect Author. My life's focus can be summed up in not THREE words, but only TWO words -- GLORIFY GOD. That simple. Glorify. God. (peace like a river flows through my soul)

When I'm trying to figure out how to make sure everything gets done, and when I start stressing out about everything this world needs of me…I want, with all my stinkin' heart, to stop and ask myself, "What's your focus, Taylor?" And I want to respond with, "Glorify. God."

It's all that matters. The bible tells us so.

Isaiah 43:7

…everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.